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The State of Dean's Speech is....Crapalicious
Well, the reviews are in—Mayor Karl Dean's State of the Metro Address has been panned by both the City Paper and the Scene, the two papers that actually follow local politics. The address was bland, unchallenging and had several head-scratching moments, which we mock and ridicule after the jump.
Continue reading "The State of Dean's Speech is....Crapalicious"... Add or View Comments | 5 comments
Hope Is a Good Thing...And So Are Toe Nail Clippers
So in the course of reporting a story about several local inmates, I came across a Metro Public Health Department memo that outlines several complaints. Below are just a few real-life gripes from behind bars. The Shawshank Redemption this is not.
“On 11-9-07 at supper I received two hotdogs with bread but only one ketchup and one mustard for both. This was not enough for both hot dogs.”
Status: The complaint was investigated. The inmate was receiving the standard amount of condiments.
“Nurse got smart with me for no valid reason. I'm entitled to better treatment than that.”
Status: Nurse was interviewed, but there is no way to prove or disprove this allegation.
“The Christmas card my family sent to the jail was returned to sender. I want my Christmas cards. My rights are violated.”
Status: The complaint was investigated. Inmates are told all musical cards are returned because they contain contraband (metal). Inmate reminded of the jail mail policy he received upon intake.
“I have been denied medical treatment. I've not been able to cut my toenails in over a month.
Status: Complaint investigated. Nail clippings are performed on weekends according to staff availability and should be prioritized with all inmate medical needs. Nail clippings involve the use of a 'sharp' and inmates cannot keep clippers 'on their person' for security/safety reasons. The inmate appealed the medical response to the grievance. The Health Department reviewed the case and found in favor of the inmate since nail clippings had not been offered in a reasonable amount of time. The medical department proceeded to 'catch-up' on all nail clipping requests.”
All About Eve
What can we say? It's another slow day on our blog as we try to get the dead tree version of Pith out the door. Fortunately for the local blogosphere (I still hate that word), Nashville Is Talking has a rather, um, revealing exposé about one of the backers of the silly Bible Theme Park in Murfreesboro. NIT's Christian Grantham merely performed a Google search on Amnon Bar-Tur, who is one of the project's sponsors, and discovered that he was “once more known for his photographs of cover girls and 'Pets of the Month' for Penthouse Magazine.”
I hear his pictures of Eve were very tasteful.
Add or View Comments | 0 commentsMorning Wood
OK, Pith has been kind of lame lately and for that we apologize. We've been busy publishing the dead tree version of this blog. Anyhow, maybe you can help us out. Although we are thrilled we can hit up YouTube for vintage footage of Pat Sajak and Dan Miller bantering during a WSMV-Channel 4 newscast, where's the tape of Bill Boner playing harmonica on the Phil Donahue Show?* Maybe it didn't really happen. I mean, if an embarrassing moment is not immortalized on YouTube, does it count?
*By the way, if you do a search on YouTube for the video in question, make sure to type quotes around Bill Boner. Or not. Whatever floats your boat.
Add or View Comments | 2 commentsHey Tuke, This is Only a Test
Last week, Pith in the Wind grilled Democratic candidate for U.S. Senate Mike Padgett asking him a series of tough, provocative questions, including whether he “likes puppies,” and “how 'bout them Vols?” Our interview caused some controversy, and some have since likened our difficult slate of queries to the aggressive behavior of Charles Gibson and George Stephanopoulos during this week's Democratic presidential debate.
Well, we resent any implication that we are unfair, and this week, in the spirit of Pith's fair and balanced coverage, we have a new offering of questions for Padgett's Democratic opponent, Nashville lawyer Bob Tuke. Since the Saab-driving Tuke apparently does not have access to a phone, we decided to write out our questions below:
1. A 140-lb. rider on a 160-lb. motorbike, traveling 25 miles per hour in a direction 15 degrees east of north, enters Briley Parkway without properly checking that the highway is clear. He collides with a 2,400-lb. car traveling north at 40 miles per hour. The two vehicles and rider become entangled. In what direction and at what speed will the wreckage move immediately after the collision. (Bob, please assume that the car's mass includes its occupants.)
2. Which of the following statements is NOT true regarding glass-membrane pH electrodes:
A) The electrodes are subject to both alkaline and acid errors.
B) The electrodes are selective but not specific for measuring the activity of the hydrogen ion.
C) The Nernst equation can usually be used to relate the activity of the hydrogen ion to the measured EMF in solution.
D) Hydrogen ions must migrate through the glass membrane to produce an EMF.
3. You have been invited to a party at Vic Lineweaver's house, which is an awkward situation for you given your designs on his job. Even worse, several other guests in attendance clearly don't like each other. Bill Purcell does not want to sit next to Mike Jameson, who doesn't want to sit next to Jim Gotto, who doesn't want to sit next to Abby Rubenfeld, who doesn't want to sit by herself but prefers not to sit next to Vic Lineweaver, who doesn't want to sit next to Bill Purcell, who also wants to sit two chairs away from Karl Dean so he can listen in on what he's saying about Metro's proposed budget without having to participate in the conversation. At what spot in the table do you sit, and what is your recipe for Lamb Korma?
Continue reading "Hey Tuke, This is Only a Test"... Add or View Comments | 2 comments
Transgender Blues
Being a transgender Tennessean in need of a driver’s license isn’t going to get easier anytime soon.
Since 1977, Tennessee has been the only state in the U.S. that prohibits sex-change recipients from retroactively revising the sex designation on their birth certificates to correspond with their new gender identity. The law makes it difficult for those who have undergone such surgical changes to get driver’s licenses, passports and new Social Security cards, because obtaining such critical documents invariably requires a birth certificate.
A bill in the legislature, which we wrote about here, would have dispensed with this piece of unnecessary moralizing, er, law. But last week, the sponsors of the bill—Reps. Jeanne Richardson and Mike Kernell, among them—withdrew the change after the health committee tacked on an amendment proposed by Rep. Jason Mumpower (at right in the image above). The amendment required that any change of sex on a birth certificate be reflected on the document, essentially creating a new category of sex. “A birth certificate can be amended with the designation MTF,” Mumpower tells Pith, “designating male to female, or FTM designating female to male.”
Mumpower says that it’s a security issue, though he doesn't say exactly how. “During one of these operations, someone’s appearance is changed…so if someone were to present a birth certificate with a changed name and an altered appearance, the fact of gender needs to be represented.”
When asked why Tennessee would need such specificity, when no other state or the federal government require it, Mumpower says, “I’m not a representative in any other state.”
The Titans' New High-Powered Offense
Impressive scoop in The City Paper today about a local drug dealer allegedly unloading quality pot to members of your Tennessee Titans. Court records in the appeal of former Metro detective Charles Williams show that the officer's nephew, Corey Cecil, is accused of selling “high-dollar, hydroponically grown marijuana” to several unidentified Titans players.
And now cue the bad joke:
I hear the Titans love playing on grass. (Thank you. Don't forget to try the veal.)
Think you can do better? Write your best Titan-on-weed punchline, and the best joke will win its author some cheap alcohol to go with your high.
Add or View Comments | 14 commentsGaylord Peddles Hypocrisy, Big Tits
Gaylord Entertainment—the company of family values, whose founders and business assets have long had Christian ties—has announced that in June it is debuting a Vegas-style nightclub called Fuse, and is vetting applicants today to work as servers, bartenders, hostesses, etc.
But, hey, the "sexy" employees Gaylord is seeking don't necessarily have to be qualified—just hot, according to the press release:
“We want only ‘10s'. That means a 10 in passion, looks and attitude,” stated Arthur Keith, senior vice president and general manager, Gaylord Opryland Resort and Convention Center and Attractions. "Nightclub experience and cocktail experience are not absolutely necessary. We want big personalities and the sexiest servers Music City has seen.... "Before they leave, they will know that Gaylord Opryland Resort puts our STARS, our employees, first," explained Theresa Dileo, vice president of human resources, Gaylord Opryland Resort."
But only if the pecs and tits meet muster.
Hotties can show up today at the Pentagon—I mean, the resort—from 1 to 6 p.m. Gaylord officials expect about 700 applicants for 85 positions.
Add or View Comments | 7 commentsCongressman Blackburn
Marsha Blackburn is ticking off some feminists for preferring the title "congressman." She signs her official correspondence that way, and it appears on her website. “I think that is significant,” Latifa Lyles of the National Organization for Women tells Politico. “We don’t have to pretend we’re not women in order to be leaders in this country."
Here's why Blackburn says she decided to use the title:
While out campaigning at a coffee shop in west Tennessee, a constituent asked Blackburn, “Little lady, what qualifies you to run for the United States House of Representatives?”Add or View Comments | 19 commentsShe quickly ticked off her time as a choir director and Girl Scouts cookie mom. “I kind of teased with him for a couple of minutes but went ahead and had a friendly conversation,” said Blackburn.
As Blackburn worked her way around the room, the constituent motioned for her to come back: “Little lady, if you win this thing, what we gonna call you — congresslady? Congressgirl?”
“Sir, congressman will be just fine,” replied Blackburn. And the rest is, well, congressional record.
The Breakup
Well, Pith Nation, you may not be hearing from Liz Garrigan a lot the next few days. She's feeling a little down. The foul-mouthed Nashville Scene editor has broken up with Gov. Phil Bredesen, writing him a Dear John letter in which she complains that she simply doesn't know who he is anymore. We were all walking on egg shells here at the Scene yesterday, but I can't say this was a surprise. I've seen it coming since the TennCare cuts.
They just didn't seem happy to me anymore, and in the office she's been constantly bad-mouthing him for everything from his lame Darfur comments to his refusal to denounce anti-gay adoption legislation. It's such a contrast from those exciting go-go '90s when the smart, dashing Phil was mayor, and the eager, aggressive Liz was penning her must-read "Pol Notes" column. Bredigan seemed to have it all.
Continue reading "The Breakup"... Add or View Comments | 11 comments
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