Nashville News Blog

If we ever accidentally elect Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to the presidency, Marsha has us covered.

After weeks of keeping her weirdness in check, Marsha Blackburn returns with a flourish to lock up pole position in this fabulous edition of the Kook Power Rankings.

1. Congressman Marsha: She insists on being called "congressman," and now she's insisting that all presidents be -- gasp! -- American. Though she admits Obama is American -- even that's too weird for Marsha -- she's signed on to legislation requiring all presidents to show their birth certificate. Rest assured, fellow patriot: If we ever accidentally elect Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to the highest office in the land, Marsha will have us covered.

2. Robin Smith: Former GOP chairwoman Robin Smith is the latest elected official to embarrass us on the national stage. When she announced her congressional bid last week, Vanity Fair noted her Facebook entry urging "'Judeo-Christians' to 'wake up' and oppose President Obama's attempts to reach out to the Muslim world." Robin's preferred diplomatic approach: Shoot slingshots at them and call them towelheads from the safety of her knitting circle.

3. Toby Gilley: The Murfreesboro councilman used to be big on the guns-in-parks thing. Then he discovered that Murfreesboro might lose the Spring Fling because organizers don't think guns-in-parks are very safe. So Gilley's now backpedaling on this devotion to the Second Amendment, hoping to create an exemption for when there's a great deal of money involved. The Second Amendment has filed for divorce.

4. Legislature: Speaking of guns, the Tennessee Hospitality Association estimates that 80 percent of its members will ban guns from bars and restaurants. In the rush to perform submissive acts before the NRA -- acts that can't be spoken of in front of Grandma -- legislators apparently forgot to ask these guys if they actually wanted the new law. Who wouldda thought?

5. Teabaggers: After failing to notice for eight years that Bush was running up record deficits, the Teabaggers are mad as hell over Obama's drive to socialism. They've also just discovered DVDs and power steering, and are rumored to be dabbling in cell phone purchases.