Nashville News Blog

Short List Phil in some heady company

I thought my fellow Pithster Jeff Woods might have been too hard on Phil Bredesen when he recently referred to the guv's Jupiter-sized ego, but after reading Beverly Keel's Tennessean column yesterday, I've come to see the wisdom of my curmudgeonly co-worker's gubernatorial assessment.

Apparently Bredesen is in Esquire's All-American Edition, in which representatives from all 50 states share their thoughts in the magazine's "What I've Learned" format. And after reading the following comment, Jupiter may not be big enough. To wit:

"It seems to me that the kids who always have their head up, looking around for the next opportunity, usually don't do as well as the ones who put their head down and become really good at doing the job at hand. Being on those various short lists for vice-president was sort of the ultimate proof of that, because I've been doing all these things that are supposed to make me unpopular."

OK, in case you didn't catch that, he wasn't on just one short list for vice president, he was on various short lists. And if you can't infer what he meant with the whole "things that are supposed to make me unpopular" shtick, let me explain what he's really trying to say: "All of you schmucks who didn't like how I dismantled TennCare, among other things, can kiss my ass, because I was on various short lists. For vice president. Really. I'm not making it up. I've seen these lists. And I sure as hell was on them."

And look who's laughing now! He's featured in Esquire, along with Clint Eastwood, Peter Fonda, Eminem and Conor Oberst! When was the last time you were in a magazine, you health-care-loving, Bredesen-bashing schmendricks?

Now the fact that, 15 picks into his cabinet, Bredesen hasn't even been mentioned for a cabinet position shouldn't lead anyone to doubt whether he was ever a serious VP contender. In fact, I propose we start calling him "Short List Phil"--although if he keeps it up, he'll start sounding like some drunk guy at Tootsie's saying, "You know, I almost had the guitar gig with Wynonna back in '98."

Oh, and in lieu of a photograph, Phil's piece is accompanied by a self-portrait. According to Bredesen spokeswoman Lydia Lenker, "The first lady remarked that he looked a little younger in that self-portrait. He laughed about that and said, yes, he definitely took a few years off."

What a surprise. Instead of Esquire, perhaps Vanity Fair would have been a more appropriate publication title.