Thursday WTF?? Video: Jessica Simpson and Jewel

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By D. Patrick Rodgers in Wow

Thu., Nov. 12 2009 @ 11:23AM

It's good to know that before her short-lived* but severely disturbing foray into country music, Jessica Simpson could totally keep up with fellow Music City wannabe Jewel--at least as far as baby-doll whisper vox and terribly uncomfortable gestures are concerned. She's like the Joe Cocker of Awful!

* We say "short-lived" because she parted ways with her record label, but she has stated that her move to country is, in fact, permanent. Sorry, country music. (HT: CR)

Tags: Awful, douchebumps, Jessica Simpson, Jewel

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12 comment(s) / Post a Comment

Anonymous says:

this really hurts

Posted On: Thursday, Nov. 12 2009 @ 12:07PM

Tracy says:

Note to adult women: Please stop freezing your vocals in the creepy infantilizing breathy precious baby voice stage, especially when you sing. You're a grown woman. You're closer to menopause than kindergarten. It is not cute. It is gross.

Posted On: Thursday, Nov. 12 2009 @ 12:25PM

familiar sideman says:

Any of y'all remember the air conditioning unit that used to stick out of the side of 328 on the entrance side? I was walking down that side walk once somewhere around 1995 talking to someone behind me. I turned around and SLAMMED my face into the a.c. unit. I then proceeded to walk into a Jewel concert. I'm not going to pinpoint exactly where my brain damage came from. You be the judge.

Also... WTF is wrong with Simpson in this video? She's singing this "song" like a wild animal.

Posted On: Thursday, Nov. 12 2009 @ 1:55PM

Steve H. says:

Nerd quiz: What Touch and Go album liner notes feature Jewel Kilcher in the thank yous?

Posted On: Thursday, Nov. 12 2009 @ 2:10PM

Greg the Ocelot says:

This is just proof that no matter how bad you think something is, it can always get worse.

Posted On: Thursday, Nov. 12 2009 @ 3:04PM

Chet says:

I almost couldn't watch that. Truly cringe-worthy...

Posted On: Thursday, Nov. 12 2009 @ 3:36PM

disappointed says:

What sucks even more is both of them "claiming" to make a move into country music but totally completely and utterly ignoring Nashville.

When was the last time either of them sang on Broadway? Never.

Posers.

Posted On: Thursday, Nov. 12 2009 @ 3:48PM

adult woman says:

Note to Tracy: The breathiness and other unique qualities of a woman's voice are usually created by the - shock - unique qualities of the anatomical structures of her head and throat. We don't exactly get to choose what we sound like all the time. You are closer to menopause than kindergarten, so why don't you stop trying to be the hall monitor. You do not sound clever. You sound ignorant.

Posted On: Thursday, Nov. 12 2009 @ 4:42PM

burrito says:

Gonna have to agree with Tracy here. adult woman you must BE menopausal- that babydoll shit is awful.

Posted On: Thursday, Nov. 12 2009 @ 4:46PM

Striker says:

Jessica is not joking. She's dead serious about this. And that is hilarious. I've watched this thing 4 times today. I don't know what it is.

Posted On: Thursday, Nov. 12 2009 @ 10:41PM

Terry Grant says:

Jeebus, I really didn't think anyone could make Jewel sound good by comparison, but I stand corrected.

It doesn't sound like there is anyone in the audience over the age of 17.

Posted On: Friday, Nov. 13 2009 @ 4:11AM

MixtaHuxtable says: