Because Helium Balloons Are Pussified: Balloon Boy Music Video
For approximately two hours or so today (and counting), housewives, the unemployed and folks surfing the Net instead of working were glued to their respective screens while a six-year-old boy was playing Flight of the Navigator in a UFO-shaped helium balloon. As it turns out, the boy was not in fact inside, possibly because helium balloons may or may not be for pussies.
The boy has been identified as the son of storm chaser, paranormal enthusiast and participant in ABC's Wife Swap Richard Heene. He's also one of the stars of this mildly hilarious video raising awareness of the modern plague known as "pussification."
Little dude's whereabouts are still unknown. Experts concur he either fell out of the balloon (or jumped if he is, in fact, not a "pussy"), or has gone into hiding to escape the inevitable ass-whippin' coming his way--which, would be hella pussified by most standards.
Wherever you are, little man, the Cream hopes you're alive and well, and won't be grounded through the duration of your 15 minutes of fame.
(HT: Weingarten.)
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