From the Desk of 'Are They Still Around?': The Dwarves Play The Muse

During a casual stroll down Elliston last weekend, I happened upon a lamp post that informed me the Dwarves are playing everyone's favorite all-ages dump The Muse this month. If you’re not familiar, these dudes have a jaded history over two decades deep, rich with immoderate drug use, self-inflicted injuries, exposed genitalia, on-stage sex acts and other casual vulgarities.

I'd be surprised if these things were commonplace these days, as it’s probably pretty hard to play punk rock for a living when you’re going to jail or the hospital every night. They also got dropped from Sub Pop in the mid ‘90s after faking the death of their guitarist as part of an elaborate hoax--which I still think is one of the most awesome things a band has ever done. Judging by the new songs on their MySpace, which sound like they came from a Lookout! Records comp circa 1995, The Dwarves have softened a little in their old age, but so long as they play “Drug Store” and “Skin Poppin' Slut,” I’ll be more than happy. Also, this reminds me of a story...

When I was 13, I read an interview with The Dwarves in Thrasher Magazine. Singer Blag Dahlia regaled the interviewer with tales of playing shows naked, cutting themselves up on stage and getting blown by fans during their set. I hadn’t even heard them yet, but they were already my new favorite band. There were no cool record shops in rural North Alabama at the time (nor now that I’m aware of), or else I would have ridden my bike there and bought it.

However, I remembered seeing a Sub Pop ad in SPIN a month earlier. I wrote to the address to get a catalog. From there, I ordered the CD via mail-in money order and about three months after reading about The Dwarves, I was finally listening to Blood, Guts, and Pussy in my bedroom. Fortunately, it was pretty much just as awesome as I’d anticipated (and still the greatest 11 minute LP I've ever heard). Contrast that with an hour ago when I found the whole album on some guy’s blog and downloaded it in less than five minutes for free because I’m too lazy to dig through a box of jewel cases to find the CD I bought back in '92.

I can’t really think of a moral for this story, aside from the fact that waiting for things sucks and having technology that doesn’t make you have to do that rules. Nor can I think of a reason for actually telling it other than I’m getting old and that old folks really like talking about how shit was back in the day.

Oh yeah, and the even older Dwarves are playing with Stuck Lucky at The Muse on October 26th.

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