Department of WTF: Matt Friction Writes an Open Letter to John McCain
I seriously could not make this shit up, people.
Sen. John McCain
United States Senate
241 Russell Senate Office Building
Washington, DC 20510
August 19, 2008
Dear Senator McCain,We were bummed to hear that Jackson Browne recently sued you over your use of his song "Running on Empty" in a campaign ad. We, The Pink Spiders, think it's uncool that someone would try and mess with your quest for total Republican world domination. Here's the thing: most 18-30-year-olds have no idea who the hell that guy is. I mean, has his song ever been on MTV's Total Request Live? Or an iPod commercial? We think not.
That said, we understand your genius in using contemporary music to reflect your concerns for your constituency, and we figured we could help you out by letting you use one of our ultra-popular smash hits for your next campaign ad. We're young and good-looking, something your campaign could use a dose of.
Take, for example, our new single "Gimme Chemicals." This one speaks directly to many of the issues that your voters care about: a national health care system, medical insurance reform, and especially the skyrocketing costs of the many prescription pharmaceuticals that folks your age are known to take in mass quantities. We all know how much you senior citizens like to party with those "little blue pills," right?
And if that song doesn't catch your attention, there's plenty more from our brand new record, Sweat It Out (for release on Sept. 23), that pretty much speak for themselves in telling voters what to expect from a McCain Presidency: "Here Comes Trouble," "Settling For You," "Stranglehold," "Trust No One," and "Falling With Every Step." Isn't it a crazy coincidence that pretty much ALL of our songs work for your campaign? Wow. See for yourself -- click here to preview all our tracks.
The Pink Spiders and John McCain: it's a match made in heaven. With our help, we think you'll be elected Supreme Emperor of America with no Sweat.
Rock on, (as Paris Hilton said) "old grey-haired dude!"
Love,
Matt Friction
The Pink Spiders
Comments
Uh... nice idea for a publicity stunt? Other than that I got nothin' but more "WTF?"
Posted 08/19/2008 at 01:59:26 PMI'm about as much of a nonfan of the Spiders as there can be, but I actually thought this was kinda funny.
Posted 08/19/2008 at 02:05:27 PMFunny!
Posted 08/19/2008 at 02:56:36 PMbrilliant
Posted 08/19/2008 at 02:58:59 PMGenius on so many levels.
Posted 08/19/2008 at 03:16:39 PMThese are just the sort of fine Young Americans that make America this land of ours.
Posted 08/19/2008 at 03:48:15 PMGuy who makes music for 14 year old girls name checks Paris Hilton. Didn't see that coming.
Weak, and not that funny.
Posted 08/19/2008 at 04:01:54 PMchuckles all around!
Posted 08/19/2008 at 04:07:02 PMthis shit is stupid!!!!!
Posted 08/19/2008 at 06:43:08 PMWas anyone else reminded of Keanu Reeves's character in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure?
"All we are.. is dust in the wind, dude."
Posted 08/19/2008 at 07:37:08 PMNo he di'int. McCain, you've just been dissed by the self righteousness of a self promoting Matt Friction! SNAP!
Posted 08/20/2008 at 12:13:52 AMThis would be funny if it wasn't possible he was serious.
Maybe Friction is starting phase two of his plan:
Phase I: Appeal to teenie boppers,make shit tons of $$
Phase II: Appeal to old Republicans, make even more $$$$
Gotta hand it to him, he has pegged where all the money is.
Heard Fred Thompson is coming to the Spiders Next Big Nashville set.
Posted 08/20/2008 at 04:42:01 AMIn a surprise turn of events the Pink Spiders borrow a page from Armed Forces' play book and write and open letter.
That or some how Armed Forces preemptively stole yet another great Spider idea.
Posted 08/20/2008 at 08:50:19 AMUgh. Are the Pink Spiders trying to bore us to death? Leave us alone. Do not try to get anyone else's attention for any reason ever. You have nothing real to contribute to society.
Posted 08/20/2008 at 01:05:27 PMhey anonymous
you left out
4.?????
5.profit
pls don't let proper memes die.
ps - gold star letter imo.
Posted 08/20/2008 at 01:45:51 PMWho's more qualified to address what is hip to the king of the hip replacement, than Matt Friction?! Anyone who takes on McCain for any reason is kickass
Posted 08/21/2008 at 11:36:54 AMby me. And don't hate, while you write downing Friction, he writes downing McCain. Use of time people? Friction: 1, you: 0!!!
clever. if you actually listen to the pink spiders, it's quite amusing. go, matt.
Posted 09/02/2008 at 08:13:52 PM