Show Us Your Nuts
Sure, you’re a big country star, and “regular rules” such as the Second Law of Thermodynamics and the Law of Averages don’t apply to you. Otherwise, what's the point of being a celebrity? We know, Monsieur Possum, that the biggest celebrities can reinvent punctuation, bending it masterfully to bring it in line with the demographic.
But if apostrophes don’t matter, then why is this almost-about-food joke funny?
Guy walks into a psychiatrist’s office wearing nothing but plastic wrap. Doctor says, “I can clearly see your nuts.”
Now, readers, I know you have a great food joke. Bring them on, because a laugh, like a snack, is best when you share it.
Category:
Party Mix
Comments
Darling, this dinner is fit for a king! Here King, Here King!
(Not sure this one comes across without the vocal inflections.)
Posted 09/05/2008 at 10:46:59 AMQ: What did the Zen Buddhist Monk say to the hot dog vendor?
Posted 09/05/2008 at 10:50:47 AMA: Make me one with everything.
I had this dream last night that I still can't figure out. This hot dog was chasing a donut into the Holland Tunnel...
Badom dah!
Posted 09/05/2008 at 10:51:25 AMWhat do vegetarian zombies crave?
GRAAAAAAINS.
Posted 09/05/2008 at 12:40:55 PMBadom dah? I think this is the sound you were looking for.
Posted 09/05/2008 at 01:46:27 PMA dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The food we put into our stomachs is enough to kill any of us.
Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be loaded with fatal bacteria, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the all the various germs in our drinking water.
But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake"
Posted 09/05/2008 at 03:22:17 PMLove it Claudia!!!
Posted 09/05/2008 at 03:45:14 PMFor those of us who consider beer a food group:
What did the skeleton say to the bartender?
Hey Bud, I'll have a beer and a mop.
Posted 09/05/2008 at 04:38:19 PM: What did the Zen Buddhist Monk say to the hot dog vendor?
Posted 09/06/2008 at 08:20:50 AMA: Make me one with everything
So the guy pays for the hotdog with a $20. The vendor gives him the hot dog but no change. Guy says, "Where's the change?" And the vendor says
"Change must come from within."
fluffernutter, ftw
Posted 09/06/2008 at 08:08:34 PM