Outtakes with Alton
In lieu of a restaurant review, this week's Scene features an interview with Alton Brown, the host of Iron Chef America and Good Eats. The dashingly nerdy kitchen scientist will host a 90-minute cooking seminar 1:30 p.m. Saturday, Aug. 16 at Gaylord Opryland Resort. (Tickets are still available for $60, with overnight packages starting at $130 per person. For reservations, call 1-888-999-OPRY.)
In the interview, Brown riffs on his days in Nashville and the trials and tribulations of life in the Food Network's Kitchen Stadium. Here are a few tidbits that didn't make it into the paper:
If an aspiring celebrity chef wanted to create a concept that would fill a niche for the Food Network, what advice would you give them?
I really have no idea. It’s a mystery. One of the perhaps not-so-good things that Food Network has done is create the impression that, if you’re a chef, you should be on TV. This is not the case.
Who were you rooting for in The Next Food Network Star?
I’m completely neutral. Truth is I’ve never seen an episode. Those kinds of shows stress me out, because I don’t want anyone to lose.
What would you feature on a show entitled Bad Eats?
Liver with onions. There’s no such thing as good liver and onions. It’s a contradiction in terms.
What makes a good Iron Chef judge?
Knowledge, a balanced sense of taste, and good communication skills.
Do Ted Allen and Jeffrey Steingarten really hate each other?
Not that I know of. Of course, now that I think of it, I’ve never seen them together outside of Kitchen Stadium.
Comments
The cutaways to Steingarten whenever Allen opens his mouth are priceless. They remind me of that look Maude always gives Archie Bunker whenever he trash-talks FDR. (Look it up on TV Land, youngsters.)
No offense to its urbane host, who is remarkably quick-witted, but the presence of Steingarten really elevates that show. Surely many folks here have read his volumes of food criticism, but if not, they're really something special. Not just because his dry wit sneaks up on you with an unsheathed chef's knife—he's a little like Robert Benchley to Calvin Trillin's S.J. Perelman—but because he's one of the most thorough, knowledgeable and doggedly investigative food writers working. He'll spend several pages in a food laboratory doing gustatory detective work, without making it read like you're trapped for pages in a food laboratory. He's also a delightful mix of high and low tastes, swayed as easily by freshly made artisanal European blood sausage as by the perfection of a chocolate-chip cookie or ketchup. (The latter is one of my favorite food pieces ever—a piece that opens your eyes to something hidden in plain sight.)
Posted 08/14/2008 at 08:59:05 AMThese are great questions, and great answers. I feel the same way about chef shows but for a different reason -- I can't watch because they make me too nervous, as if I had to do the challenge. Same when I walk into a house that's for sale. I see everything that needs to be done,and I feel overwhelmed, as if i have to do it myself, and soon.
Posted 08/14/2008 at 09:44:11 AMI'd like to see a sit-down with JS and Tobin the Gnome. I imagine it would go something like this:
Tobin: You are a snob.
JS: Hmm. I can see how you might think that. But when I flew to Switzerland, on Vogue's dime, to have my brain scanned by a ground-breaking neurologist, it was revealed that I have a more highly honed sense of gustatory appreciation than most humans. So, you see, I can't be blamed for what you may or may not perceive as snobbery as expressed in my physical bearing or expression. It is simply the physiological manifestation of my cerebral superiority.
Tobin: Whatever. Snob.
Posted 08/14/2008 at 11:20:04 AMAre you kidding? I see Steingarten and the Gnome hitting it off over barbecue.
Posted 08/14/2008 at 03:31:43 PM