Kicked in the Cup

Posted August 18, 2008 at 09:42:11 AM by Carrington Fox

cupcake.jpg

What I am about to say will most likely alienate about half the people—which, let's face it, is the full-time risk of any food critic. But after witnessing a shocking amount of expensive and beautiful dessert being thrown away this weekend, when people realized its beauty was only icing deep, I'd like to offer up one of our culinary sacred cows for Monday morning slaughter:

Cupcakes.

Blech.

Of course, nothing screams “Happy birthday, princess!” louder than an overpriced, over-iced batch of swirly jewel-toned confections. But the brutal truth is that all too often, the tiny cakes dry out, relying on the alluring plug of buttercream icing for a decadent finish. Simultaneously precise and lush, those flirty pink, brown and glittery clouds of icing seduce me to taste each one, until only a dozen rings of butter-stain remain on the bottom of the cardboard bakery box and I am left—bloated and slightly jumpy from the sugar—trying to lick a greasy, flavorless sheen from my teeth and wondering if this unrewarding cycle of binging and regretting is what it feels like to date someone who is extremely beautiful and stupid.

I have had my dalliance with tiny, shallow cakes, and now I'm ready for a dessert more substantial. I want a cake big enough to be a little gooey in the center or have different flavored layers. I want a return to cake served with a plate and spoon, so you can mush it up with ice cream into a cold and crumbly swirl. I want a cake big enough for my whole name to be written across the top.

(Then again, that might just mean I'm looking for a really, really big cup cake.)

What kind of cake do you want?

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Comments

pogo said:

Same thing I wanted as a kid: a slice of Red Velvet Cake with cream cheese frosting & pecans served in a bowl so that I could drown it in boiled custard...

Carrington said:

Pogo -- when's your birthday?

Lesley said:

That's why I've already decided that Cuppycakes will be doing my next cake event. Some cupcakes, some cake. All good.

Lesley said:

Incidentally, I share pogo's love of red velvet. Just about anything that's not dry, peanut buttery, or carrot cake is good for me, though.

pogo said:

Actually it's next Tuesday... ;^)

Carrington said:

I love caramel cake. Where is the very best caramel cake in town? It used to be at the Corner Market, but now that's gone. Also, I miss Sylvia's coconut cake at Cibo.

Jack said:

Sweet 16th in East Nashville makes some of the best cakes in town, btw.

Lauren said:

Chocolate zucchini cake. Who makes the best? Sunset Grill?

pogo said:

Carrington -- The boiled custard addition was something I discovered over the Christmas holidays many years ago. Asking for it (and getting it) in August was what really made a birthday special!

Carrington said:

Boiled custard always makes me feel a little sick, in a psychosomatic way. Homemade boiled custard was the panacea in my family, administered at the first hint of fever, rash or ill temper.

pogo said:

I would have been a much less easy-going child if ill temper would have gotten me boiled custard...

Kay said:

Second and third the motion on Sweet 16s cakes and everything else. Dan and Ellen can do no wrong.

Cuppycakes? I don't get it. The glaringing phosphorescent, totally unnatural colors? The artificial flavors? The dried out cake and gummy frosting? If Cuppycakes and Kroger were the only two options for what Carrigton rightly calls a silly choice for dessert, I would go for Kroger.
The best caramel cake in the south is the nine layer cake from Dean's Cakes in Andalusia, Alabama. I think Sam Tucker--who does breads and pastry for Watermark and now Miro as well--takes the cake for best restaurant pastry chef.

fluffernutter said:

I agree about cupcakes -- the format somehow is supposed to cover up the multitude of stale, greasy sins that make up a second-rate cupcake. But then came cupcakepalooza, and Sweet 16th and Dulce Desserts really changed my mind. Ask Lesley -- wasn't it a revelation? Mocha cupcakes, lemon cupcakes, cherry almond cupcakes. It was really something.

mr. pink said:

After making three treks to Dean's in Andalusia and finding it closed every time (and not on a Monday), I give up. As for Cuppycakes—wow, that is the polar opposite of every item I've ever tried from there. I've never had anything less than moist cake and airy frosting. I too share the love for Sweet 16th and Dulce, however.

I'm more a cookies kind of guy, though. Especially if they're made by Mrs. Pink.

TobintheGnome said:

Carrot cake + cream cheese frosting = winrar.

claudia (cook eat FRET) said:

kay - i think you may be confusing cuppycakes with gigi's. gigi's are pretty bad overall. cuppycakes has no storefront and are pretty damn good...

i agree that sweet 16th is wonderful. those guys are the real deal.

the best thing i had at miro was a fig tart. the pastry was perfect, the flavors were unique and they popped - think basil oil and cheeses with figs. impressive.

fluff - i never did post about the cupcakepalooza.... i have a lot of guilt about that. i thought dulce had great cake but was not a fan of their icing. cuppycakes won it for me. gigi's was overall - well, silly.

as for caramel cake? it is the pinnacle of cakes in my book. how far is the drive to andalusia? and do i dare try one of my own...

Kay said:

OMG! This is what happens when you are trying to take care of your daughter's simultaneous phone and car problems while also ranting on blog....You are so right. My complaint is with Gigi's, not Cuppycakes which are PDG. The figs at Miro were delectable. We did not have the same problem with the papparadelle that you did, our fig/duck/pasta dish was divine, as were the grilled peaches with prosciutto, housemade ricotta and local honey. As was my spot-on salad nicoise at lunch today. It is a work in progress. the menu changed from Friday night to today. I was glad to see Chef Robb remove something that needed removing, so kudos for being so flexible.
The drive to Andalusia is too far, and the cake might not really be THE best, but the whole Dean's Cakes retro experience---think senior ladies in hair nets working behind glass--is priceless. Next time I go to Seagrove, I will pick one up on my way down or pack, bring to Scene and alert you to delivery. I think I still know a couple of people there.
Again, my apolgies to Cuppycakes and thanks to Claudia for clearing up.

Pete said:

It’s unfortunate that Aurora Bakery is no longer open. They had the best Tres Leches cake in town.

TobintheGnome said:

Why did I read fig tart as tig fart?

Lesley said:

Kay--you are right about Dean's cakes. FYI--they freeze really well. I used to make the trek twice a year because my office was in Destin and I'd get a cake to freeze each time. But if anyone wants a shorter trek, The Beauty Shop in Memphis serves the best caramel and strawberry cakes in the state, no doubt about it. The photo on my blog is me licking the very last bit of icing off the fork after having strawberry cake there.

A friend of mine told me there's a bakery right off Charlotte at Hillwood/Annex that has a good caramel cake. Don't know it firsthand, though.

Pink--my first try at Dean's Cake House found them closed, but I kept trying. It was worth it. When you go in, you can see all the ladies making the cakes in the back.

Jack said:

Tobin, I would have never fig-ured you for a carrot cake guy.

claudia (cook eat FRET) said:

kay - glad to hear that miro is working through the kinks. i'll try again very soon. i want to love it. i do, i do...

lesley - being that we are friends and all, your next drive to memphis to see your mom? it better include a caramel cake. or else.

gnomey baby - don't make me answer that...

Kay said:

My dinner experience Friday night at miro was not perfect, but it was absolutely delightful in so many ways, and the plusses far outweighed the missteps. I loved it and know it will just get better and better.
And yes, Dean's Cakes caramel cake freezes bautifully. Officially they are closed Sundays and Mondays, but I believe they also shut down operations a couple times a year for a week at a time. They also make each of the nine layers in individual cake tins, none of this slicing a layer in half to make two business.
Aurora's tres leches cake was the best I've ever had, bar none.
Leland Riggans, who does specialty wedding cakes, is off Charlotte in that Hillwood area, but she does not do retail as far as I know.
Let's all have a moment of longing for the departed Master of Pastry Confections---Parco Cafe's Mr. Chu. sigh.

LWilson said:

There was a type of layered cake in New Orleans called Doberge that sounded like that. Gambinos made one that was half chocolate and half caramel that was great. They also made a lemon. I agree about Sam Tucker, one helluva talented pastry chef.

Carrington said:

There is no greater reason to contemplate marriage than a cake-tasting at Leland Riggan's Dessert Designs, where she generously plies you with whatever fresh cake is on hand. I nominate Claudia and the Gnome--or the Walrus--to pose as our happy couple to infiltrate the inner sanctum and score some caramel cake. Grab some chocolate truffle cake while you're there, if you would, please.

Delaney said:

I second the endorsement for the caramel cake from Dessert Designs. I have seen perfectly civilized birthday parties dissolve into bloody carnage over the last piece of buttery goodness.

My grandma made devil's food cake with a seven minute frosting that was blinding white and developed a crusty surface when the cake cooled. She drizzled bittersweet chocolate over the whole thing. I've tried to recreate it and haven't even gotten close. I would cheerfully give up my (fictional) first-born child for a slab of that cake and a glass of milk tonight.

mr. pink said:

Can any cake ever live up to the cakes of your childhood? I can still taste my grandmother's caramel cake, with icing that hardened into thick, dense pieces of cracked candied crust. It was nowhere near as refined as Dean's (thank you, Kay, for my one taste), but even if I had Dean's cakes cooling every day on my windowsill, I'd still miss that wonderfully imperfect cake of yore.

Kay said:

As i recall, the Dean's Cakes caramel cake that I managed to get up the stairs at the 12th Avenue office all the way to the break room without being taken down by an editorial staffer was set upon like a carcass by a pack of starving vultures. Mr. P probably only managed to get one taste, and was lucky to escape with his hand.

Carrington said:

Does anyone remember--or can you direct me to--that pink peppermint meringue icing that is somewhere between foamy and sticky--kind of how I imagine fire-extinguisher foam might taste if laced with mint extract and allowed to set?

claudia (cook eat FRET) said:

i feel a caramel cake coming on...

cooking is one of the many ways that i amuse myself - baking is less practised by me and it may not be "the cake" but i think i can get there from here...

gimme a week or so to research and i'll try my hand... what the hell...

Lee said:

Every cake I have had from Sweet 16th has been transcendent. The chocolate on chocolate is insane, the red velvet is delectable and the special, seasonal strawberry cake with cream cheese icing (not on the menu) they made for my friend's birthday must have weighed 20 lbs. it was so rich and dense with fresh berries.

I love that place.

Lesley said:

Claudia--I humbly request that you not have this caramel cake ready until after next Monday when I return from Seattle.

As for cakes from childhood, my mother still talks about my great-grandmother's strawberry cake. She said the strawberry cake at Beauty Shop is *almost* as good. I think their cakes are outsourced, but I'm not certain.

Cakes from my childhood? All came from a box. All I ever wanted was chocolate and my mom's specialties did not include chocolate.

As for me, the first time I ever remember wanting to make a cake was after I won an Italian Wedding Cake at a cake walk in Memphis at the St. Peter's Picnic (there's a large and wonderful Italian community in Memphis). Then I read a recipe and it was all over. I've never made a cake. And I don't plan to start now!

Jack said:

Kay...thanks for bringing up tres leches. How did it slip my mind?! How decadently wonderful. I haven't even had that many of them. But Back to Cuba's hit the spot for me. I think it's the same reason I like Vietnamese coffee so much: condensed milk. I could drink Eagle Brand straight from the can.

Carrington said:

Straight out of the can is too "English Patient" for me. But I do love SCM boiled in the can and used in a banoffee pie.

amybakes said:

Back to Cuba does make a good tres leches cake. Jack I'm buying you a six back of condensed milk for your birthday!

My mother makes an amazing apple cake, usually just for the holidays in the fall, but sometimes, if I ask really nicely, at other times of the year.

Claudia do I get a piece of caramel cake, too?!

Jack said:

"I love SCM boiled in the can"

Wow, Carrington, to my warped mind, that almost sounds dirty. I'm not sure how, but it does.

claudia (cook eat FRET) said:

jack - something like, "all that's missing is U",
but i'm not sure how to put it together...

pogo said:

AKA, danger pudding

Carrington said:

Welcome to Glob, the Scene's blog for naughty anagrams

em said:

Dessert Designs does do retail. You can also order mail order cakes from their website. They even carried mini ones at H.G. Hill in Belle Meade for a while (sigh). I am a new devotee of Cuppycakes although I agree the cupcake trend is getting a little stale (ha). I love Juanita and Dulce, but the Cuppycakes icing more suits my cupcake ideal. We had the Pretty in Pink---moist cake and sugary pale pink icing, reminiscent of good wedding cake but with twice the icing. I also like the cupcakes at Picnic Cafe---not sure who makes them. They also carry caramel and strawberry cakes. The chocolate zucchini cake at Sunset is not what it used to be. It used to have this homemade quality, like something your mother made, but now it seems more like something from the Harris Teeter bakery (aplogies to both HT and Sunset--just my opinion).

Mary Coleman said:

Growing up in Nashville, the best and only caramel cake to have was made by Mrs. Gillespie. This was the birthday cake for our family. So any following this particular cake would have to be incredible. It took 20 years, but let me tell you. Try Sweetiecakes. Fabulous. On par with Mrs. Gillespie and Dean's. Sheree Kelley is rockin' with these babies. Check it out.
http://thebellemeadepielady.com/piesandcakes.html

Carrington said:

Yes! Her caramel cake was square and her coconut cake....oooooh. And it was she who made the aforementioned pink peppermint cake.

fluffernutter said:

I think either Mrs Gillespie is still around, or has passed along her recipe, b/c I was at a cookout last yr in my 'hood, food catered by some high-end meat-n-three, with a "name" caramel cake for dessert that everyone swooned over. Tasted great -- homemade yellow cake, real caramel icing -- wouldn't have said to die for, though.
CFox I'm thinking that's seafoam icing. We'll experiment at some point.

Mary Coleman said:

You're exactly right Carrington. Always square. and the coconut cake was for Christmas Eve...until Mrs. G passed on and Leland Riggan started making the Chocolate Truffle Flourless Oh My God This is too good cake. Fondly referred to as Baby Jesus Birthday Cake.
Fluff...Mrs. G's daughter compiled a cookbook of all her recipes. I know I have one floating around and my mother does as well. I'll see if I can't find it.

Carrington said:

I might have mentioned this before, but our wedding cake was a Chocolate Truffle Flourless Oh My God This is Too Good Cake with white icing. We froze the top, and it was almost as good a year later.

claudia (cook eat FRET) said:

mary - if you find that book, can i have a copy of her caramel cake recipe please?

claudia (cook eat FRET) said:

dessert designs did my 40th b'day cake. the icing was kinda marshmellow'y. it really was a pretty damn awesome cake.

Jim Myers said:

Mrs. Gillespie has sadly passed, but there is a person in town who makes cakes that I swear are every bit as good as Mrs. G's legendary caramel cakes. To order one, you have to ask the new maker's sister, who pimps the cakes out of her hair salon.

mr. pink said:

You can't just drop a hint like that and walk away. Details!

BP said:

I ate at The Beauty Shop in Memphis this weekend. I had the caramel cake, and yes, it really is outstanding. I will definitely be going back to try the strawberry. Thanks for the tip, Lesley.

ms. cuppycakes said:

you guys have inspired me to make a caramel cupcake! claudia you will be the first to know when it's ready!

claudia (cook eat FRET) said:

...and then i died happy.

PS VOTE FOR CUPPYCAKES!!! NASHVILLE SCENE'S BEST OF... best cupcakes = cuppycakes.

i am so so sorry i never posted on our cupcakepalooza but in my heart YOU were the winner and most everyone agreed...

dolce desserts - great cake, interesting flavors but shitty icing
gigi's - bleeergh for the most part
sweet 16th - excellent but limited options
cuppycakes - FREAKIN' WONDERFUL... a solid wonderful cupcake experience with a huge selection!!!

Jim Myers said:

Dulce Desserts...shitty icing? Not sure what you tried Claudia, but I can't imagine that, since every iced thing I've tried there has had real buttercream. I like her cakes (full cakes, not cupcakes) enough to have entrusted her to make my son's first cake. As for the cupcake craze, it can't fade away fast enough for me.

ms.cuppycakes said:

thank you..

claudia (cook eat FRET) said:

hi jim! the ones we had were iced with a swiss meringue buttercream. or so they told me. personally, not my thing. i can't even recall exactly why at this late date - but i honestly think cuppyycakes icing was truly superior.

for the record, i bought dulce's big heart shaped cookies last february and found them inedible...

cupcakes, shmupcakes - whateva. it's all cake to me... !


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