The Cheez Chronicles
I owe the lovely Delaney Mae an apology. Yes, I scoffed when she sang the praises of the Hot & Spicy Tabasco Cheez-It in an earlier thread:
I had a friend in KC gleefully recommend the Flipsides over a month ago, and I've been eagerly scanning the market aisles for them ever since. Finally nabbed a box last week and... um... not great. I broke them in half and fed them to a toddler friend while I myself snuck handfuls out of a box of Tabasco-flavored Cheez-its.
To which I replied:
OK, Delaney, on your recommendation—and at the urging of Casey Gill and Trent Summar, two of your converts—I tried a box of the Tabasco Cheez-Its. Alas, I forgot that I hate the taste of Tabasco.... I really loathe Tabasco, and I'm not sure why. It has this metallic twang I can't put my finger on—too much vinegar, perhaps.
I found them so distasteful at first that I brought the box to work to get rid of th—I mean, to share them with my beloved co-workers. I could have predicted that my colleagues would devour them. Hell, I could wheel a 50-gallon drum of rancid potato peelings through our office, and the thing would be empty before I reached the breakroom.
But I did not predict their enthusiasm. Only Liz abstained. Everyone else gobbled the things by the fistfuls, accompanied by comments such as "I love these!" or "These rock!" or "Hey, Ridley, where's my $20?"
So I tried them again. And again. And again. By the time I found myself gnawing on the boxtop picture, I had to concede Delaney Mae knows her junk food. Now I'm thinking I may have isolated a weird principle in my pleasure zone. As with some of my favorite albums, such as this one—which I gave away the first time, then tried to break into the recipient's house to get it back—the very qualities I found initially irritating are the ones that lodged it in my memory. With Tabasco Cheez-Its, it's the metallic twang of that green-pepper flavoring that affects my taste buds like the lash of a loving whip. The irritation becomes part of the pleasure.
I can only hope I affect people the same way.
Comments
Thanks for sharing. I ate so many I'm still retaining water. P.S. Where's my $20?
Posted 02/27/2008 at 03:35:11 PMYou mean your $17.21. What, you think Tabasco Cheez-Its grow on trees?
Posted 02/27/2008 at 03:38:01 PMYes, we'd probably eat rancid potato peelings, but few if any non-sweet foods have ever been swept up in such a fury as the Tabasco Cheez-Its. I don't even like regular Cheez-Its, but I made at least three return trips to the file cabinet for a just a one more hit of that spicy, vinegary goodness.
Posted 02/27/2008 at 04:15:54 PMYou know, I feel that way about salt and vinegar potato chips...oh, and dill potato chips, in that the irritant becomes a pleasure. I love the way the astringent bite pickles my tongue. Next up, Tabasco Cheez-its!
Posted 02/27/2008 at 04:18:52 PMI wonder what they'll be like as a casserole topping?
Or maybe with the cream-cheese and pickapeppa sauce?
Posted 02/27/2008 at 04:31:24 PMthe whole thing sounds so awful - too awful. like a metallic, vinegary, green peppery bad dream PLUS the chemicals.
you should have followed your fearless leader's lead. oh except on the meat thing. gotta have meat. especially pork. lotsa pork. and mostly bacon. tons of it.
Posted 02/27/2008 at 06:32:13 PMI could have told you about Tabasco Cheez-its. I would have told you about "Imperial Bedroom." I will tell you about the up coming bio-pic "The Gospel According To Janis" starring Zooey Deschanel.
Posted 02/28/2008 at 07:44:40 AMI once received from some Texas food outfit a giant chocolate chip cookie the size and shape of a cow flop. It was very realistic. I slammed the box shut to throw it away, when a co-worker grabbed it and said, "Ten bucks says they'll eat it." "Nah," I said. "Too disgusting." He sat it next to the newsroom coffeepot and the darn thing was gone in 20 minutes. That's as close as I ever got to rancid potato peelings, and proves Pink's point.
Posted 02/28/2008 at 01:46:24 PMI have never felt so famous! Your post prompted me to pass the Box of Said Tabasco Cheez-its around the office (I was withholding!) and got a unanimously ravenous response. I feel like I should start peddling my junk-food recommendation services. It's a skill.
Posted 02/28/2008 at 02:00:34 PMAn omnibus of responses:
Fluffernutter: So what did Jeff Woods do with the money?
Delaney: You are famous. And you should definitely hang out your shingle as a junk-food tastemaker. Convince EMMA this is a department they need. Use me as a reference if necessary.
The Green Fairy: Wait...is this the Green Fairy? The one who used her smokin' hot feminine wiles to ply me with absinthe and nachos? "Astringent bite" is a wonderful phrase, and a perfect name for our spin-off blog devoted to kimchee.
Robby: You're about 25 years late. You should have told me about Imperial Bedroom in 1982 at Port O'Call Records in Murfreesboro when Jay Grady sold it to me. A few days after I'd given IbMePdErRoIoAmL away, Steve Luster put on My Aim Is True at an after-school poker game. I said, "Hey, who's this?" The rest is history. But if you have time-travel capabilities, you're welcome to come and beat Steve to the punch. Bring quarters.
Posted 02/28/2008 at 04:04:33 PMDelaney, I feel a movement building. This is the Tipping Point of Tabasco Cheez-Its.
Posted 02/28/2008 at 04:07:06 PMSounds like Mr. Pink has been into the Lucid again...
Posted 02/29/2008 at 09:26:41 AMHullo Mr. Pink,
Yep, it's *the* green fairy.
Hey, completely off-topic but has anyone made it to GiGi's cupcakes yet? I passed by it the other day and saw that it's open now....
Posted 02/29/2008 at 02:39:43 PMthe green fairy should flutter over to the "Let Them Eat Cupcakes" thread...
Posted 03/01/2008 at 10:42:25 AMGood news! I found the Original Flavor Town House FlipSides at the Eastland Kroger this weekend and they are WAY BETTER than the Cheese Version. Mr. Pink: Please review. I'm tempted to drop a box off at the office.
Posted 03/03/2008 at 12:09:01 PM